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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Fundraiser jobs? · Latest report #u9pcc8c6
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour alumni outreach script is just a Markov chain waiting to happen.
Professional guilt-tripper and expert at mining nostalgia for cash.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Personalized guilt-tripping at massive scale.
split.you▸ DONORBOT PRO 5000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
optimizes donation requests based on ego
You cold-call alumni and write donor emails to beg for endowment money for college building projects.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a donor is actually wealthy enough to handle the awkwardness.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
AI starts writing better begging emails than you ever could.
Month 5
Robotic voices handle the cold calls with perfect polite persistence.
Month 9
Algorithms map alumni net worth to optimize exactly who to nag.
Month 15
Generative video agents replace your awkward zoom meetings with major donors.
Year 2 · D-Day
The entire fundraising office is replaced by a high-efficiency server cluster.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
2 percent
Cold call conversion rate
14000
Annual guilt-trip emails sent
300 yearly
Awkward alumni dinner hours
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the alumni magazine.
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