Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Fundraising Steward jobs? · Latest report #hc3ihqp7
Your job has an expiration date
December 7, 2027
In 13 monthsPersonalized donor updates are just database queries with better adjectives.
Professional guilt-tripper for ivy-league vanity projects.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Personalized gratitude, delivered at massive scale.
glub.youAI▸ STEWARDBOT 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 13 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends perfect emotional triggers to donors
You track donation metrics, write thank-you letters, and organize stewardship reports for wealthy university alumni.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly how much guilt an alumnus feels when they read your letter.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI starts ghostwriting your donor thank-you emails with perfect tone.
Month 4
Software automatically tags donor interests without you touching the records.
Month 8
Donors receive personalized automated impact videos instead of paper letters.
Month 12
All alumni communication moves to an algorithmic engagement platform.
Month 13 · D-Day
Your account is locked and all future stewardship is autonomous.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.2%
2,400
Emails per hour
99.9%
Donor retention rate
zero
Tears shed per card
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the library printer.
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