Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace University Student Engagement Officer jobs? · Latest report #qm9phbnw
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsReplacing the human touch with algorithms that actually answer student emails.
Professional professional nudger of the chronically unmotivated youth.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Nudging students into productivity without the sentiment.
ow.you▸ ENGAGEMENTBOT PRO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends personalized guilt-trip notifications automatically
You chase students who ghost their seminars and organize events they ignore. Your existence is basically a glorified notification system.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a student is genuinely struggling versus just binge-watching TV series.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our LLM takes over your inbox to provide generic, polite, and immediate student responses.
Month 3
Predictive models identify 'at-risk' students faster than you can open their file.
Month 6
Automated push notifications replace your manual outreach to chronically absent attendees.
Month 10
The system interfaces directly with syllabus data to push updates to student devices.
Month 14 · D-Day
The office is repurposed into a high-density server room for the new algorithm.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
89%
Emails ignored by students
14/day
Coffee cups consumed
4%
Event turnout rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our automated campus alerts.
Discussion
