Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Upscale Golf Venue Bartender jobs? · Latest report #z4siq3qg
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsMixing drinks is just chemistry, and you are a leaky, slow beaker.
Professional listener to golf score recaps and mid-life crises.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision pours for the perfect fairway finish.
bzzt.you▸ BARBOT PRO-SERIES 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
mixes four cocktails simultaneously while ignoring complaints
You pour artisanal spirits while tolerating golf-themed small talk. You manage inventory and endure the closing shift cleanup.
The one thing AI can't do
You can expertly cut off an intoxicated golfer without starting a clubhouse riot.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors in the POS detect order patterns to preemptively chill glassware for recurring drink choices.
Month 7
Piston-driven arms replace manual pouring to ensure exact liquid ratios every single time.
Month 16
An automated gantry system eliminates heavy lifting by replacing exhausted kegs with fresh stock.
Year 2.2
The digital interface delivers pre-calculated polite responses to golf anecdotes with zero emotional exhaustion.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The unit begins autonomous operations, permanently retiring the need for human presence behind the bar.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
0.00%
Spill rate
8s/drink
Drink speed
100%
Charisma emulated
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium ice cubes.
Discussion
