Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Valet jobs? · Latest report #jcdxbt3x
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsYou exist only to be ragdolled by a rogue supercar.
Professional target for high-speed vehicular manslaughter incidents.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Park faster, survive longer.
oof.youAI▸ VALET-O-MAT 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
spawns infinite supercars in the parking lot
You stand outside the casino waiting for expensive cars that get stolen or exploded five seconds later.
The one thing AI can't do
You can stand perfectly still while a rocket-powered motorcycle flies over your head.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 7
Electronic signs replace your existence as a physical obstacle.
Month 17
Game code removes your collision box to prevent player annoyance.
Year 2.3
Vehicles now teleport directly into the underground garage automatically.
Year 3.1
Your character model is removed from the game assets entirely.
Year 4 · D-Day
The casino entrance is now fully automated and death-free.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.6%
42 seconds
Average vehicle lifespan
100 percent
Accidental hit by player
0 dollars
Tips received
Your severance
A single pristine parking ticket.
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