Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Valuation Analyst jobs? · Latest report #kg5gkbb6
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour discounted cash flows are just fancy ways to hide errors.
Master of circular references and 2 a.m. pitch decks.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth in every spreadsheet cell.
squeeze.you▸ QUANTVAL-X9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates pivot tables in four milliseconds
You spend days building complex Excel models to justify arbitrary valuation multiples. Your life is adjusting terminal growth rates.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still argue that your specific WACC calculation makes logical sense to a client.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Scrapers ingest financial filings directly without your manual input.
Month 4
Algorithms build your DCF models in seconds from raw data.
Month 8
A design script enforces corporate branding on every slide automatically.
Month 13
Models learn to predict senior partner bias without human intervention.
Month 18 · D-Day
The valuation firm retires the analyst team for superior silicon output.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
4
Excel crashes per week
85%
Hours spent on formatting
Guesswork
Accuracy of terminal value
Your severance
A one-year subscription to the Bloomberg terminal.
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