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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Vaseline Repairman jobs? · Latest report #ps6pq2mb
Your job has an expiration date
September 24, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour sticky days of jar-level structural maintenance are ending quickly.
Professional surface-smoothing specialist with sticky fingers.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect consistency without the human mess.
no no noyouAI▸ SLUDGESYNC AUTO-SMOOTH 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
perfects the surface finish without residue
You manually inspect, stir, and smooth industrial jelly surfaces. Your work ends when the machines stop needing human touch.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact viscosity of a batch by the feel of your spatula.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 7
Sensors monitor viscosity and temperature 24/7.
Month 7
Robotic paddles replace your manual stirring rhythm.
Month 13
Chemical misters handle the messy residue removal.
Month 18
Cameras spot air pockets faster than your eyes.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The machine fully manages the jelly flow alone.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
42 kilograms
Jelly smoothed per hour
89 percent
Average stickiness fatigue
1200 daily
Manual stir rotations
Your severance
A lifetime supply of non-repaired Vaseline jars.
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