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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Venture Banking Managing Director jobs? · Latest report #pktkcftr
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsTurning your golf-course intuition into a depreciated spreadsheet formula.
Professional gatekeeper of debt and expensive dry-aged steaks.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Capital allocation without the expensive steak dinner.
splat.you▸ TERMSHEET-PRO V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates portfolio based on burn rate
You manage venture debt portfolios and negotiate covenant-heavy term sheets for startups. You spend your life wining, dining, and de-risking high-burn clients.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the desperation in a founder's eyes during a board meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The system begins parsing historical deal outcomes and covenant performance data from your CRM.
Month 5
Algorithms begin generating standardized venture debt terms that outperform your manual negotiation speed.
Month 13
AI-driven outreach begins managing your VC network via sentiment-optimized email and LinkedIn engagement.
Year 1.9
Automated sensors detect startup cash burn anomalies faster than any quarterly financial review.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system autonomously executes all debt facilities without human interference.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
12
Coffee meetings per deal
0.0%
Covenant breach tolerance
Zero
Golf course ROI
Your severance
A lifetime supply of LinkedIn premium and grey fleece.
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