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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Venture Studio Partner jobs? · Latest report #jqqbgeqs
Your job has an expiration date
July 4, 2028
In 1 year, 8 monthsTurning human optimism into optimized liquidation events for the future.
Professional visionary, part-time PowerPoint architect and LinkedIn influencer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated vision for the future of capital.
squeeze.youAI▸ CAPITAI-MODEL V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deletes your portfolio companies from the cloud
You hunt for founders and pitch visions to investors while managing portfolios of early-stage software companies.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie convincingly to investors while nursing a third espresso at noon.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Generative models produce pitch decks better than your analyst team.
Month 5
AI scouts scan startup databases to identify high-probability founders.
Month 11
Decision engines predict success rates better than gut-feeling partner meetings.
Month 17
A dashboard manages company KPIs and sends automated feedback loops.
Month 20 · D-Day
Autonomous capital allocation systems replace the entire venture studio layer.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.2%
4.2 cups
Coffee consumed per deal
0.04 percent
Probability of exit
High
Buzzword density index
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis dashboard.
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