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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Vice President Capital Markets jobs? · Latest report #3uybdgyj
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour expensive lunches and market platitudes are now just data points.
Professional golf enthusiast with a side of transaction processing.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals before you finish your martini.
squeeze.youAI▸ CAPMARKETSYNC ALPHA▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates your entire quarter end reporting
You manage transaction processing sales and push capital market services to institutional clients via high-stakes relationship building.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when the client is genuinely bored with your pitch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models scrape your email history to replicate your negotiation style.
Month 5
Software builds and delivers personalized client decks with zero human intervention.
Month 10
The system automatically adjusts pricing based on real-time market data.
Month 15
Virtual agents conduct the routine check-in calls with your clients.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system concludes the merger and sends you your final severance email.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 93.6%
3.5 units
Martini consumption per client meeting
42
Meaningless synergy buzzwords per pitch
12 percent
Revenue attributed to your golf handicap
Your severance
A LinkedIn premium subscription and a firm handshake.
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