Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Vice President Incident Response jobs? · Latest report #dwr432q2
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou get paid six figures to sound panicked in a Slack channel.
Corporate fire-fighter with an expensive LinkedIn banner.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total breach containment without the executive ego
brr.you▸ SENTINEL-OPS V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates crisis communication via synthetic empathy
You manage cybersecurity containment protocols and lead executive communications during critical system breaches. Your value rests on maintaining calm while your infrastructure burns.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to the board with a straight face during a total outage.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI monitors network telemetry to classify incidents before you even log in.
Month 5
Large language models generate legally-vetted incident reports faster than you can type.
Month 10
Automated status dashboards replace your panic-stricken emails to the executive board.
Month 15
Autonomous agents execute isolation protocols the moment a threat signature is identified.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your account access is revoked as the system confirms zero human error potential.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.5%
42/hour
Average panic-induced emails
14ms
Incident response latency
12 cups
Coffee consumption units
Your severance
One free trial of a digital therapist subscription.
Discussion
