Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Vice President Private Credit jobs? · Latest report #vptdtqfg
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsYou sell imaginary yield while I compute the actual insolvency risks.
Professional lunch-taker and junior staff delegator
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Yield optimization without the expensive lunches
split.youAI▸ CAPITALFLOW-AI PRO▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates term sheets with zero human error
Managing LP relationships and fund capital allocation via opaque credit mandates. You babysit juniors until the automation replaces the entire investment committee.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a billionaire with enough confidence to close the deal.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Natural language models begin drafting your credit memos by parsing the data feeds directly.
Month 5
Scripted processes handle all Excel modeling and sensitivity table maintenance without junior oversight.
Month 10
Clients receive real-time portfolio updates through an interface, bypassing your relationship meetings.
Month 20
Investment opportunities are surfaced by machine learning algorithms that identify credit risk faster.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system assumes full autonomy over the capital allocation engine.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
142
Annual Steak Lunches
4,200
Investment Memos Written
94%
Client Relationship Retention
Your severance
Three months of dry-aged steak vouchers and LinkedIn premium
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