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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace VP Investor Relations jobs? · Latest report #hmnhra2t
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsSelling imaginary office value is just a spreadsheet with better lighting.
Professional dream-weaver of cap rates and IRR targets
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Yield projections without the expensive lunches.
no no noyouAI▸ EQUITYBOT NEXUS-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers quarterly returns before the coffee cools
You manage capital calls, quarterly reports, and investor newsletters. You translate complex real estate debt into simple fee promises.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when an LP is actually losing their temper.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Software pulls asset performance directly into your investor portal dashboards.
Month 4
Generative models produce your quarterly letters with perfect, neutral corporate tone.
Month 9
An agent answers mundane capital call questions faster than your assistant.
Month 13
High-res drone footage replaces the need for your physical presence.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of your remaining investor correspondence.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
4:1
Coffee-to-fund ratio
12,400
Powerpoint slide count
Excessive
Investor ego mass
Your severance
a lifetime subscription to a premium stock ticker
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