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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace VP Of Customer Success jobs? · Latest report #m69m6zzs
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYou optimize the churn rate until the machine optimizes you away.
Professional slide-deck curator and churn-rate emotional stabilizer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated empathy for better retention metrics.
squeeze.youAI▸ SUCCESSPULSE AI-9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deploys automated apology emails at scale
You track customer health scores and manage churn, while pretending that a meeting is a strategic business decision.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a client's face without triggering an API error log.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map your email patterns and meeting logs for training.
Month 4
The AI generates all your QBR slides without human intervention.
Month 8
Customer queries are routed to an AI that mimics your tone.
Month 12
Algorithms handle escalations before you even see the tickets.
Month 14 · D-Day
You are replaced by a loop that manages itself perfectly.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
2.4 percent
Quarterly churn reduction
400 megabytes
Slide deck weight
32 hours weekly
Time spent in meetings
Your severance
Three months of LinkedIn Premium and a coffee mug.
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