Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace VP of Student Life jobs? · Latest report #quca5z4u
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsSolving student problems with spreadsheets until nobody remembers your name.
Professional cat herder for the over-caffeinated and under-prepared.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing student satisfaction through cold, hard data.
pop?you▸ CAMPUSPULSE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates policy enforcement for all student petitions
You manage student housing, dining, and campus morale. You write policy and react to campus crises daily.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a student is lying about why they missed their exam.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
AI starts drafting every vague response you send to students.
Month 5
Algorithms handle dorm assignments better than your current manual system.
Month 15
Software automatically denies club funding based on strict metrics.
Year 2.2
AI adjudicates low-level student disciplinary cases without human input.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The VP role is officially retired for an automated dashboard.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
400 yearly
Average policy documents generated
60 percent
Time spent in emergency meetings
12,000 yearly
Student emails ignored
Your severance
One lifetime membership to the alumni association.
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