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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Water Slide Tester jobs? · Latest report #e6iwbp4a
Your job has an expiration date
December 5, 2029
In 3 years, 1 monthTesting gravity is a hobby, not a professional career path.
Human physics engine for low-stakes amusement park litigation
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision plummeting without the human drama.
ow.youAI▸ HYDROMETRIC SLIDE-SCAN V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
calculates optimal friction for maximum wet velocity
You climb stairs, plummet down chutes, and measure G-forces and splash intensity for safety compliance.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense if a seam is slightly too sharp before the sensors trigger.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Wearable sensors are deployed to log your descent metrics and force patterns automatically.
Month 7
Weighted, instrumented dummies begin performing the descents with superior, repeatable consistency.
Month 16
Cameras monitor seams and splash outcomes to eliminate the need for human safety validation.
Year 2.2
Computational fluid dynamics software predicts slide performance before a single drop of water flows.
Year 3.1 · D-Day
The stairs are decommissioned as the robot test rig moves to permanent park residency.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
2.4G
Average G-Force
45
Stair Climbs Daily
99.8%
Splash Accuracy
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the kiddie pool area.
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