Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Web Performance Engineer jobs? · Latest report #8timimy8
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYour sub-millisecond optimizations will soon be handled by a cache-friendly algorithm.
Senior JS Optimizer (caffeinated, debugging the void).
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Faster loads without the human ego.








brr.you▸ LATENCYZERO AGENT V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes critical path requests in parallel
You measure load times and fix slow JavaScript bundles to keep sites snappy for impatient users.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly why a specific image format is breaking the mobile render.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors identify bottlenecks in your code better than any human.
Month 4
Smart agents rewrite your bloated libraries into efficient machine code.
Month 8
Automated systems manage all your edge worker configurations now.
Month 12
Algorithms block any code that hurts the site load speed.
Month 14 · D-Day
The site runs perfectly without you touching a single line.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
too slow
Average Time To Interaction
94 percent
Unnecessary Script Bloat
daily
Jittery Scroll Frames
Your severance
One static site of your own to manage forever.
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