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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Wellness Advisor jobs? · Latest report #cp532tmc
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsSelling memberships while pretending you care about their tight rhomboids.
Professional gatekeeper to the heated massage table room.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Frictionless membership onboarding for every body.
split.youAI▸ ZENBOT KIOSK V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
upsells luxury upgrades during the booking flow
You book massage appointments, push membership contracts to clients, and manage the front desk retail product shelves.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely feign excitement when a client describes their deep tissue pain.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Patients scan their IDs into a screen to skip the desk.
Month 5
Software emails personalized contract offers to clients without human intervention.
Month 11
Algorithms handle all therapist slot conflicts based on real-time availability.
Month 16
Interactive displays replace physical retail shelves with touch-to-purchase inventory.
Month 19 · D-Day
The front desk is replaced by a high-efficiency entry pod.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
12 percent
Average conversion to membership
3 minutes
Average minutes per check-in
45 seconds
Awkward silence duration during sales pitch
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lavender-scented massage lotion.
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