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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Wet Lab Barista jobs? · Latest report #wxg52isq
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2029
In 3 yearsMixing chemical reagents and oat milk without spilling either on your shoes.
Master of titration and the perfect micro-foam pour.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Science and caffeine, perfectly automated, zero errors.
split.youAI▸ LABRISTA-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates fluid levels during the morning rush
Managing sensitive pipetting sequences and high-pressure espresso extraction in a single, confused hybrid workflow.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who can fix the machine when it jams.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors begin logging reagent levels and coffee bean weight automatically to identify waste patterns.
Month 7
Precision pumps replace manual micropipetting and espresso dosing to ensure consistent chemical and flavor concentration.
Month 16
Multi-axis arms take over flask transfers and portafilter locking in structured, enclosed environments.
Year 2.2
Integrated software suites synchronize lab timing with cafe demand to eliminate downtime between tasks.
Year 3 · D-Day
The unit self-installs, leaving you with only your memories and a very clean workspace.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
99.9%
Pipetting accuracy
Micron-level
Latte art precision
Zero
Spillage count
Your severance
A lifetime supply of instant coffee and centrifuge tubes.
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