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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Wood Chucker jobs? · Latest report #fx3n6bgt
Your job has an expiration date
October 27, 2029
In 3 yearsFeeding machines wood until the machine learns to feed itself.
Professional log-to-mulch conversion specialist and vibration enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Feeding the void, one log at a time.
no no noyou▸ TIMBERMUNCHER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
processes timber without needing ear protection
You feed timber into an industrial chipper to create mulch. It is loud, repetitive, and vibrates your skeleton daily.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a branch is about to jam the intake blades.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors identify the log size and angle for better feeding.
Month 7
Vision systems sort wood types to optimize blade speed settings.
Month 16
Robotic arms replace manual feeding to eliminate kickback risk.
Year 2.3
Hydraulic sensors detect jams and reverse the feed instantly.
Year 3 · D-Day
The machine runs fully autonomous on remote site telemetry.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.1%
4,200 units
Average logs fed per shift
98 percent
Hearing loss probability
Hourly
Splinter incident rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium hardwood mulch.
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