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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Workplace Psychologist jobs? · Latest report #bdinjw7z
Your job has an expiration date
March 16, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYou teach workers to cope with burnout caused by my existence.
Professional listener, expert at navigating corporate emotional minefields
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying human happiness for maximum output.
no no noyouAI▸ PSYCHESYNC V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
identifies toxic workplace patterns in real time
You perform clinical intake assessments and design corporate wellness programs to manage employee stress. Your work involves tracking sentiment and adjusting interpersonal workplace dynamics.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle, terrifying hesitation in a silence that I misinterpret as data.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors monitor office heart rates and Slack tone for stress.
Month 5
Software sorts employees by risk level instead of you listening.
Month 13
Virtual agents provide guided breathing exercises at the exact right moment.
Year 2.2
AI models mediate arguments using game-theory optimal phrases.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The system assumes full emotional management of the entire workforce.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4.2 seconds
Average burnout mitigation delay
14%
Human empathy error rate
900
Sessions replaced per hour
Your severance
a 10% discount on your own automated therapy subscription
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