Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace XDR Engineer jobs? · Latest report #kirkmj5e
Your job has an expiration date
May 31, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou hunt threats; our bots just make them impossible.
Professional alarm-fatigue sufferer and log-file archaeologist.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated threat hunting for a quieter network.
toast.youAI▸ SENTINELLOOP 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
patches vulnerabilities before they are even discovered
You monitor network traffic for breaches and tune detection rules. You spend your life chasing alerts and false positives.
The one thing AI can't do
You can discern the subtle human frustration in a misconfigured firewall rule.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models start auto-dismissing 90% of your noisy, low-priority alerts.
Month 5
Machine learning agents automatically write your detection rules for new threats.
Month 10
Bots begin isolating infected endpoints before you even click open.
Month 15
Your manual SIEM interface is replaced by a single health light.
Month 19 · D-Day
The system runs itself perfectly and you are officially retired.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
4 minutes
Average alert triage time
3 cups
Coffee consumed per incident
92%
False positive rate
Your severance
One free subscription to a high-end stress management app.
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