Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Yoga Teacher jobs? · Latest report #t3s764ig
Your job has an expiration date
December 2, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYou guide bodies through poses that an app already knows perfectly.
Expert at adjusting spines and ignoring your own stress.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Pure alignment, zero spiritual ego.
brr.you▸ ZENBOT 3000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
projects perfect alignment lasers onto yoga mats
You demonstrate complex physical postures and provide verbal adjustments to students in a studio setting.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a student feels discouraged and offer genuine encouragement.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Biometric scanners replace your manual sign-in and attendance clipboards.
Month 10
Algorithms generate the perfect BPM-synced sequences without your input.
Year 2
Ceiling-mounted lasers guide students into perfect pose geometry instantly.
Year 2.8
Haptic pressure mats signal when a student needs a correction.
Year 4 · D-Day
The studio runs autonomously with zero human teaching staff required.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
18 humans
Average class attendance
4 hours/week
Time spent finding playlists
4,000 units
Mats rolled per year
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium meditation app.
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