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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Youth Rowing Coach jobs? · Latest report #van3qcqk
Your job has an expiration date
December 15, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsScreaming at teenagers from a motorboat is easily handled by logic gates.
Professional loud-voice enthusiast and amateur teenage therapist.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect rhythm, zero yelling, absolute obedience.
oof.youAI▸ COXBOT-SYNC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates oars to perfect uniform pitch
Coaches manage rowing technique, intensity intervals, boat rigging, and coxswain navigation. You teach rhythm, boat speed, and endurance through endless water drills.
The one thing AI can't do
You know exactly when a kid is faking an injury to avoid the erg.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 8
All manual training logs are moved to a cloud-based tracking system for immediate data oversight.
Month 8
Overhead drones replace your eyes to calculate stroke synchronization and hull drag metrics instantly.
Month 16
Sensors in the oarlocks automatically adjust rigging tension to eliminate human error in boat setup.
Year 1.9
Haptic feedback systems in the boat steer and pace the crew better than any human coxswain.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The autonomous patrol unit handles all coaching, leaving you entirely redundant by the riverbank.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
100 percent
Average voice strain
99.99 efficiency
Ideal stroke rate maintenance
0.02 percent
Teenager compliance rate
Your severance
A single used oar and a megaphone with dead batteries.
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